Proverbs 11:8-13 Listen up!

“God gave you two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much as you speak!” Have you heard that one? It’s a favorite of parents and teachers who want to quiet children! But it has been my experience that the most frequent violators of this rule have been adults. Because I’m so social, and love to hear my own opinions, I have had to learn to REALLY fight my tendency to want to speak and consciously choose to listen. One thing that really is annoying is to be in a “discussion” with a group when one person talks over everyone else.

In today’s passage from Proverbs, three verses are dedicated to the mouth and what comes out of it: 

With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor,

    but through knowledge the righteous escape...   

Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted,

    but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.   

A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor,

    but a man of understanding holds his tongue. 

 A gossip betrays a confidence,

    but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. (Proverbs 11:9, 11-13)

The mouth can be so destructive! It can decimate a person’s life through gossip or slander, and our verse 11 tells us it can even destroy a whole city! A betrayed confidence can ruin many relationships. I’m always telling my students to avoid telling secrets, even to your most trusted friend, because a secret is the hardest thing in the world to keep. The temptation that is inherent in knowing a secret is that you want others to know that you know! It’s powerful to be the one who “knows.” So, the urge to repeat a secret is very great, indeed! When you have found a friend who won’t violate your confidence, you have truly found a jewel! I’m so grateful for mine!

Which brings me to the listener! One might assume that if you are an encourager you should be speaking lots - blessing everyone with your words as you go through your day. But the reality is that a true encourager is someone who can listen! In order to sincerely bless someone, you must know what her needs are. You need to listen not only to what she speaks from her heart, but you also must hear the Holy Spirit to give encouragement that truly lifts up and strengthens.

The best training I ever had in restraining my mouth was during my years as a discussion leader in Bible Study Fellowship. We were asked to NOT participate in the discussion of the lessons so much as to facilitate them. It was hard for me to keep my lips shut, but it so trained me to listen! And it has helped me as a teacher to allow my students to drive discussions in the classroom!

I don’t know about you, but I would not have minded it had God designed us with four ears instead of two!  

Proverbs 11:4-7 Money won't save us!

Our money won’t save us - but it sure seems to help! Right?? With our economy still flagging, it seems I’m encountering more and more who have been without work for an extended period of time. Unemployment can be a marriage killer! I’ve been spending time with three different women whose husbands have been without work or only sporadically working for a long time. We’ve been discussing the negative impact of financial insecurity: a husband shrinking inside when he cannot provide; and a woman, who has been trying to bolster her husband’s confidence, becoming more resentful as time goes on. It’s rough!

It can be a real struggle to lay financial burdens down before the throne of God, to trust Him completely to take control. The reality is that He IS in control, whether or not we acknowledge it, so we may as well trust the One who loves us beyond anything we can imagine. Our money is NOT what will save us in the end.

Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath,

    but righteousness delivers from death.

The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them,

    but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

The righteousness of the upright delivers them,

    but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires.

When a wicked man dies, his hope perishes;

    all he expected from his power comes to nothing. (Proverbs 11:4-7)

God’s Word tells us that our money is worthless when it comes down to the end. It cannot prolong our days, it cannot buy entrance into heaven, it cannot follow the hearse to the graveyard. Money is the means we use to purchase necessities. The money itself is a gift from God. And because we know God’s love for us endures forever, we can be assured that God will ALWAYS provide exactly what we need to keep going. So much easier said and believed when the bank account is full!

But if we are consumed by worry and fear about finances, we are not trusting God. And we are robbed of peace and joy. Our security is in God. HE is our Rock. HE is our strength! HE is our solid foundation and our refuge. He is our Provider and He is also our Provision. We need to believe Him when He tells us that the righteous will never be forsaken:

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. (Psalm 37:25)

If you are in the midst of financial ruin, keep your eyes on God. Look to Him to provide and to give you the faith to trust Him and the hope to wait expectantly for His provision. He will not let you waste this time of struggle. You will see Him as you never have before. Hang on, dear friends! God WILL provide!  

If you have a story of how God met your needs during a rocky time, please leave a comment to encourage all of us!

The God of all comfort...

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

It is amazing to me how God can use our sorrows to transform us into His image, and how He then allows us opportunities to draw on the pain to help others who are going through something similar. This weekend my daughter, Emmy, finally had her Choose Joy event at our church. Emmy and Nathan had problems with secondary infertility that caused them to wait for 8 years before they adopted their sweet baby, Penelope. It was a long, frustrating, agonizing waiting, marked with painful and fruitless fertility treatments, ending in the removal of her tubes and all chances of getting pregnant. But, with that door finally closed tight, they were able to see the door that was opened, and they proceeded to adopt Penelope.

From that waiting period came Emmy’s desire to help others who are going through this process, often feeling alone and ashamed. And so Choose Joy was born. Saturday was the culmination, and if you know Emmy, you know it was planned down to the silverware and napkins. It was a beautiful presentation, with a luncheon that was superb, prepared completely (for 120 or so people), by Emmy’s longtime BFF, Brooke King. But it wasn’t the surroundings or place settings, as creative as it all was, that made the day so special. It was the full tables of couples and would-be moms, sitting around those tables pouring out their hearts and being encouraged by speakers and each other that made the day such a God-thing!

Each person who came to the event was specifically drawn there. Many came reluctantly, but all left feeling a sense of hope and community. I loved that the keynote speaker, Lesli Westfall, author of Dancing on Barren Land, is a woman who had NOT received the “Yes” from God that she had hoped for. At 48, she still has no children - although she said she’s not dried up yet!

At the end of the day, there was a raffle, and a darling girl won a jar stuff with money donated by all who were there and other donors - about $2,700! This girl had also not wanted to come (she drove up with a friend who dragged her there from San Diego). The $2,700 was the exact amount of the final payment she and her husband need to pay to for their adoption fees!!! Only God can do that!

It was a wonderful day for me as a mom to watch. Molly and her Throne of Grace crew were there with prayer cards for those who are facing this issue. How blessed I felt to watch Molly supporting her sister with cheers and tears! And the best part for me was to see the men in their own breakout group supporting and encouraging each other, with Emmy’s husband, Nathan, and two other friends leading their group. Emmy was the final speaker - with lots of humor and many tears. Then, when the raffle winner came up to get her jar of money, Nathan led a prayer of blessing to close it.  I'm so grateful to all  who helped make the day possible (Lori, what a sacrifice of your time), and to the God of all comfort who was so present in all the details - even the napkins!

Okay, LORD, my cup runneth over! You can take me home any time now!  

Proverbs 11:1-3 Caught in a lie!

Here’s my own proverb this morning: Two things doth a teacher hate: cheating and tattling! - Sally White, teacher :)

This morning’s verses speak to the first:

The Lord abhors dishonest scales,

    but accurate weights are his delight.   

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,

    but with humility comes wisdom.   

The integrity of the upright guides them,

    but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. (Proverbs 11:1-3)

I realize that Solomon is speaking of true grown-up cheating and dishonesty here, but the signs of deceptive character appear in early childhood! Kids lie! They lie for different reasons: most lie for self-preservation, because they don’t want to get disciplined. This is the normal behavior of most children at one time or another, but usually you can easily get them to ‘fess up, and they will demonstrate true remorse. When this happens in a classroom, the issue is quickly resolved and over. Grace covers it, a hug is given, a lesson has been learned, and we all move on.

But for some children (who eventually become adults) lying has become a pattern of behavior, because they have never suffered any real consequences, and a confession requires police-like interrogation before the child will finally admit his guilt. But even then, there is no remorse, or excuses continue - the favorite being, “But he did it, too!” The problem for children and adults who continually get caught in lies, is that no one trusts them, so that even if they DO tell the truth, everyone is skeptical.

Someone who is willing to lie or cheat in insignificant things that really don’t matter, is probably going to lie or cheat when it counts. What about “white” lies?? There is no such thing! So when I tell my husband that the outfit that I bought, which cost $69, only cost me $60, does it matter? Of course it does! Especially when we do this in front of our children. Has anyone ever said to their kids, “Don’t tell Daddy we...” Oh my! When we do that, we are demonstrating that sometimes lying is not only okay, it’s necessary!

I’m not going to get into the whole ethical issue of lying to protect someone’s life. I’ll leave that kind of dilemma to theologians. { But didn’t Rahab do that when she hid the Jewish spies? And she’s in Christ’s genealogy! That doesn't mean it was right, but it was certainly forgiven!} However, our integrity is important because we represent Christ to the world. Let’s be careful to be truth-tellers! Little ears are listening - and God’s ears ALWAYS hear us!  

Proverbs 10:22-32 Blessings with no regret!

Do you have any regrets in your life? Don’t we all? Some are minor, but some have long-lasting consequences. Have you ever done something that you were sure would bring you happiness or pleasure, but afterwards you just felt sick? That hot fudge sundae looked so tempting on the menu, but when you finished it, you just wanted to puke! You were physically glutted and you were sick at heart that you had just stuffed your body with a gazillion calories!

Maybe you entered into a relationship with someone who you were sure would fulfill your every need, but in the end you were left feeling used, hurt, and disappointed with yourself for being so stupid! Some things that look like they will bring blessing, actually end up being curses. However, in today’s section of Proverbs, several of the verses speak of blessings that come from God that satisfy and strengthen. I‘m going to highlight just a few, using both New International Version 1984 and the New American Standard Bible version:

It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich,

And He adds no sorrow to it. (Proverbs 10:22 NASB)

When God brings us a blessing, there is no regret with it. God’s blessings are always for our benefit. Now, we may not always recognize what comes our way as being a blessing. You may be going through a trial right now that seems like a disaster! Are you experiencing trouble in your marriage? Is your child bringing you grief and frustration? Are your finances in ruins? Have you just been given a scary diagnosis? Are you miserable in your job? Hmm... none of those sound like blessings! Yet, James promises us that we can count it all joy, because God is using our trials to complete us and bring us to full maturity (James 1:2-4).

What the wicked dreads will overtake him;

    what the righteous desire will be granted.   
When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone,

    but the righteous stand firm forever. (vs.24-25 NIV 1984)

When the Bible speaks of the righteous, it is talking about those who are right with God, those who have been made righteous by what Jesus has done for us, not by our own good deeds. And those who are the righteous of God do not need to fear. Whatever your worst nightmare is, nothing can shake you if you are in Christ. Evil will overcome those who have said. “No thanks!” to God’s invitation to come to Him. They have no foundation upon which to stand - they will realize their worst nightmares, they will be swept away in the end.

The way of the Lord is a refuge for the righteous,

    but it is the ruin of those who do evil. 

The righteous will never be uprooted,

    but the wicked will not remain in the land. (vs.29-30 NIV 1984)

God is our rock, our stronghold, our refuge. We stand firm and we will not be shaken. Choosing to believe Him, to take Him at His Word, brings us the stability and strength we need to persevere and survive anything. If you need encouragement today, know that God is with you. He loves you more than you can imagine. His blessings for you, whatever form they take, are for your good, because God is good. Believe it!  

Proverbs 10:16-21 Ouch!

I don’t know about you, but these Proverbs kind of overwhelm me! There are so many different thoughts in each passage - each one so pointed - that I have a hard time focusing! This is why I am not forthcoming daily - not that I’m not in the Word - just wanting to wait on God for what He’s trying to teach me! This next set of proverbs, however, is mainly about one of my biggest problems: my mouth! 

Now, God has given me the ability to actually use my mouth in a good way, to teach, to encourage, to comfort. I have no problem getting up in front of a group and saying something. However, that strength, is also my weakness! I can get myself into so much trouble with my tongue! Going through the book of James at my church’s Bible study has been a challenge, because reading what James had to say about the tongue made me cringe!

Beth Moore points out in her James study that, in most of his letter, James uses the pronouns “you” and “they,” but when he speaks of the evil of the tongue, he switches to “we.” It apparently was a problem with which he, too, wrestled! The combination of a “gift” of gab with an opinionated personality can be deadly! So, as I read these verses today, you can guess where the LORD spoke to me:

The wages of the righteous bring them life,

    but the income of the wicked brings them punishment.   

He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,

    but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.   

He who conceals his hatred has lying lips,

    and whoever spreads slander is a fool.   

When words are many, sin is not absent,

    but he who holds his tongue is wise.   

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,

    but the heart of the wicked is of little value.   

The lips of the righteous nourish many,

    but fools die for lack of judgment. (Proverbs 16-21) 

Is the LORD trying to tell me to shut up??? Well, not exactly. But He certainly is reminding me that “brevity is the soul of wit!” Where a few words will do, many are NOT needed. The more the words flow, the better the likelihood that something stupid or hurtful will come out! And James confirms this: 

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,  but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:5-10)

I grew up in a family in which sarcasm was a perfected art! We thought we were funny (still do), but usually at the expense of someone else! Most of the time we kept that “in the family,” because we all have developed pretty tough hides. However, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I could take back words that impulsively poured out of my mouth in an attempt to be funny. But the damage was already done! I know you can all relate to this. Then there are the many times that a bit of gossip slips out, and the instant it is out there I’m filled with regret! Help me, LORD!

How can we better control this beast, the tongue??? With prayer and dependence upon the Holy Spirit. It is not enough to say, “Well, this is just my personality!” No! We are all new creations in Christ, and He has given us His Spirit to teach us and transform us into His image. We need to minute-by-minute surrender ourselves to Him, and we must fill our hearts with His Word, so that our thoughts are conformed to His. (Romans 12:1-2)

Will we ever be able to conquer our tongues this side of Heaven? Probably not! But we must be teachable and be willing to change! Notice that tucked in the Proverbs today is this verse: He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.  Okay, LORD, I hear you!  

Proverbs 10:11-15 "Bless you!"

In this segment of Proverbs 10, the focus seems to be on the mouth and what comes out of it. Our mouths can be used to abundantly bless others or to devastate. We can choose to use them to encourage and lift up others, or we can bring ruin to those around us either by directly putting them down or through gossip.

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,

    but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.   

Hatred stirs up dissension,

    but love covers over all wrongs.   

Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,

    but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.   

Wise men store up knowledge,

    but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.   

The wealth of the rich is their fortified city,

    but poverty is the ruin of the poor. (Proverbs 10:11-15)

The righteous man is the one who uses his words to lift up others. His words are designed to bless and encourage. As a teacher, I know that my words have power. They can have a lasting impact both positively and negatively. I wish that I could say I only use my words to encourage! But there are many times when a rebuke slips out and I know I have discouraged a child. { But, hey! How many times can you find a positive way to spin it when the child shows up for the umpteenth time with no homework done? Aaughh!! } The LORD usually brings me up short and immediately reminds me that I will need to undo that one crushing word with LOTS of positives!!!

On the other hand, I also can clearly see that when I tell one of my students how much I love having him in my classroom, I get a physical reaction as he smiles broadly and soaks in the blessing! I try to stand at my door each morning and greet each child as he/she walks in. After about the fifth student walks by without any reaction whatsoever, I’ll say, “Good morning, Mrs. White, and how are you today???” I have one boy this year who is painfully shy and quiet. He rarely smiles. But one morning recently, he smiled up at me as he entered, and before I could greet him, he said, “Good morning, Mrs. White!” So, I pulled him aside and told him he had blessed my day. Now, every morning I get that wonderful greeting - and the smile to boot!

The key verse to this topic is verse 12, “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers all wrongs.” Dissension and gossip spring from hatred and a heart that is insecure. They leave devastation wherever they are found! But love finds a way to cover up wrong. Jesus covered our sins with his blood. Isn’t that truly the gospel in a nutshell? In fact, “love covers over all wrongs” pretty much sums up the entire Bible! Because our own sins have been covered we need to also cover the sins of others (even homework that is undone) with love.

May we use our words to bless! And may we cover sin, rather than expose it, with our mouths.