Proverbs 17:3 No stink!

The crucible for silver, and the furnace for gold,

    but the Lord tests the heart. (Proverbs 17:3 NIV 1984)

There are so many references in the Bible to the fact that God WILL test our hearts! Consider this promise of Jesus that we don’t normally like to claim:

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV)

Having just guaranteed that we will face many trials, Jesus tells us we should “have peace” and we should “take heart.” He did not tell us that we would have trials in order to scare us, but to give us peace - because He has overcome the world! He has given us the final victory!

God uses trials of fire to test and refine us, just like silver or gold. The goal of God is not to crush us, but to perfect us.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 ESV)

In her study on the book of Daniel (Chapter 3), Beth Moore talks about three scenarios when the people of God face a fiery trial: you can be delivered from the fire, in which case your faith is built up; you can be delivered through the fire, having our faith refined; or you can be delivered by the fire straight into the arms of Jesus, in which case our faith is perfected. Paul said, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21 ESV)

The worst case scenario is going home to be with the LORD! What is there to fear then? Are you in the midst of a “fiery trial?” Take heart, because God is always with you in the fire! He will use it to either strengthen your faith or perfect it! Watch for His presence, believe that He is with you, and know that His purpose is to refine you.

One of the amazing things which Beth Moore notes in her study is verse 27 of Daniel 3, which tells us that when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came through the fire “their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” How exciting is that?? The heat was turned up to full blast, but when they came out they did not stink! Instead, I’m sure they were a sweet-smelling fragrance to God! Wow!

Better is a dry morsel with quiet

    than a house full of feasting with strife. (Proverbs 17:1)

It’s better to be eating crackers in a peaceful house than dining on lobster in a house full of contention! How hard it is, especially when you have a house full of children, to maintain peace! But I don’t think this verse is speaking of regular family noise. The dictionary defines strife as “bitter conflict.” This brings to mind a house in which the husband and wife are locked in a pattern of discord, where sarcasm or sniping has become a habitual norm. A house in which the children are allowed to verbally abuse each other. How easy it is to get into a negative spiral where neither spouse has something kind to say and where children are constantly picking on each other!

Often we have little problem remembering to treat strangers with courtesy and good manners, but how seldom do we apply common courtesies at home? Early in our marriage, after the girls were born, the LORD showed me that Don and I were beginning to develop a negative pattern of complaining about each other. If we had a disagreement, I would put on a sullen face and give him the silent treatment or huff and puff until he noticed. There were plenty of sarcastic remarks flowing from my mouth. 

Thankfully, the LORD graciously showed me what was happening, and prompted me to turn it around. All it took was one kind remark from me to reverse the pattern! A simple “Thank you” for something like taking out the trash was all it took. Have you ever noticed that men really NEED to be thanked? I don’t understand it, because I never expected a thank you for the numerous things I did every day around the house, but for some reason, whenever Don had done a chore, he needed me to thank him! He would say, “Did you see that I watered the plants?” I would come back with a, “Did you see that I did the dishes, did the laundry, did the marketing, got the meals, and took care of the kids all without asking you to notice???” { NOTE: that would be the NEGATIVE exchange!!! }

So, when the LORD showed me that Don actually NEEDED thanks, I began to make a concerted effort to show him how much I appreciated what he did for us. It’s amazing how simple it was! And the bonus was that it actually opened my eyes to the many little things he was doing daily to take care of our family.

It’s not that we don’t still argue! We can do plenty of that! But I try to stay away from remarks that crush his spirit - and I really try to get beyond the anger quickly rather than luxuriating in it! I learned this really through my daughters:

Years ago, when Molly was about 8 and Emmy was about 6, I was the children’s supervisor in Bible Study Fellowship (if you don’t know about BSF, you need to contact me so I can direct you to their amazing Bible studies). I was doing my lesson while the girls were playing in the family room. The verses I was focused on were Ephesians 4:26-27

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV 1984)

I called the girls over to me and read the verses to them and explained that when we argue with each other we need to get over it and make up quickly, because if we carry on our anger we are giving Satan a foothold in our family. Not a week later, as I was again doing my Bible study in the dining room, I heard the girls arguing about something and then saw Emmy march up the stairs in a huff and slam her door. I decided to let it go. About five minutes later, Emmy came downstairs and grabbed Molly by the hand and took her up to the room.

Within a few seconds, Molly leaned over the railing and called, “Mom! You need to come up here and see what Emmy wrote!” So I got up and investigated. Emmy had written on the wipe board in her room, “I will not let Satan make me mad. I am sorry, Molly.” I was so excited that she had internalized the verse I’d shared with them! So I had them make a bookmark for my Bible on an index card. Molly copied the verses from Ephesians on one side, and Emmy copied what she had written on the board on the other. It was a great reminder to me about the need for peace and the way to maintain it in a home!

Have you seen a negative pattern begin in your home? You can reverse it! Ask God to show you all of the ways in which you are part of the problem, then seek opportunities to turn it around through simple kindness! If you are having strife with your spouse, don’t let it go on for days, giving the cold shoulder and withholding affection. Be the one to begin the change. If your children are constantly arguing, don’t accept that as the norm. Help them find ways to end their conflicts quickly and prayerfully. Model it for them! How much better to live in a house with peace!  

Proverbs 16:31 Gray? What gray?

Gray hair is a crown of glory;

    it is gained in a righteous life. (Proverbs 16:31)

I was going to ignore this verse, in much the same way I’ve been hiding my gray hair for the past 20 years! If gray hair is such a “crown of glory,” why am I spending so much money to get rid of it???

My mother was a beautiful woman. In fact, she was a starlet under contract to Warner Bros. in the late 1930’s to mid 1940’s. However, I received none of her traits! I got my father’s curly hair and flat chest! And, apparently his early gray hair! My father was completely white by his 40’s. I think I might have been, too, had I not started to color the hair to hide it! Mom, on the other hand, had beautiful brunette hair late in life...

My husband would love for me to let it go white. Of course he would! He’s been completely white for years! :) Gray hair in men is distinguished, and, frankly, pretty sexy. Not so much in women... I don’t want to look like Auntie Em from The Wizard of Oz. 

So, I was going to just skip right over this verse. However, I feel a need to acknowledge how thankful I am to be 62! I love my age at this point in my life! I love that I have moved from the years of struggles in child rearing and the worries of building a career and home to the relaxed pleasure of being a grandmother!

I’m thankful that I now have 37 years of walking with the LORD and experiencing His great faithfulness in my life. I’m so very thankful that I now have two daughters and sons-in-law who are sprouting gray hairs of their own (misery loves company???). In fact, the other day Don was telling me a story about someone he had met, and when I asked him how old the guy was, he responded, “Oh, he’s middle-aged - about 35.” I laughed out loud and reminded him that, by that measure, both of our daughters are now middle-aged! Then, of course, I had to text the girls to tell them that story!

But, one of the things for which I’m so very grateful is that I have actually been given 62 years of life so far, when many others are given far less. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be given - the speed of life accelerates incredibly on this downhill plane! But I do know that God is not yet finished with me. Still so much work to do to transform this heart!

Even though I pay a small fortune so that others see me as a blond, I have a feeling that God sees me as completely white-haired! Thank you, LORD, for that crown of glory!  

Psalm 121: The 24/7 God

I’ve just returned from spring break! I lead a group of 12 students (4th-6th graders, including my grandson, Beau) and 6 parents to Williamsburg and Jamestown, VA and Washington, DC. It was a whirlwind tour that began at 7:00 each morning and ended at about 10:30 each night! Like a five day slumber party without donuts! It was a blast and we saw and learned so much! Amazingly enough, I’m actually not tire as I head back to school this morning!

I’m taking a quick break from the Proverbs today, because in my studies this past week, I read a favorite psalm that I just wanted to share. A few weeks ago I wrote about the fact that God is always watching over us, which I find very comforting. Well, this morning, I want to look at Psalm 121, which proclaims that very thing:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,

    who made heaven and earth.  

He will not let your foot be moved;

    he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.  

The Lord is your keeper;

    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,

    nor the moon by night.  

The Lord will keep you from all evil;

    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep

    your going out and your coming in

    from this time forth and forevermore.

Talk about security! God will not let my foot slip! He will watch over every move I make throughout the day, and He will lovingly watch over me while I sleep. I can rest in complete peace knowing that He guards me 24/7!!!

I have some major decisions coming up, and as I pray about the path to take, I am so encouraged by the fact that He will not let my foot slip. I may enter the wrong path, but I know that, if I do, it won’t be disastrous since my heart yearns to be in agreement with His heart. He will correct me and reorient me so that I fulfill the purpose for which He created me. He’s going to keep my going out and my coming in FOREVER!

Hidden in the middle there I find another encouraging note: in verse four He promises to also be watching over Israel continually. In view of the present circumstances of that nation, I am comforted to know that in spite of Israel being surrounded by enemies that would love to annihilate the nation, God has His eye on all of it - and He will protect Israel, as well.

God is sovereign! He has plans for me - He has plans for Israel - He has plans for you! He is at work around the clock keeping us (the words “keep,” “keeping,” and “keeper” appear six times in just eight verses). That lifts a bundle of stress from me about the decisions I face! I hope it blesses you, too!  

Proverbs 16:18,25 "I did it my way!"

I found two verses in Proverbs 16 this morning that seem related and which are the kinds of verses that your great grandmother would have embroidered on a pillow, because they are so true:

Pride goes before destruction,

    and a haughty spirit before a fall. (v.18)

There is a way that seems right to a man,

    but its end is the way to death. (v.25) 

If there’s one thing our culture seems to admire, it’s a self-made, self-sufficient man! The kind that sings with Frank Sinatra at the end of his life, “I did it my way!” This is the song of the man who never considers God in his life. He is convinced that he alone is responsible for his fate and for his accomplishments. So, when he achieves some success, his pride swells. When he makes decisions, he only considers what HE thinks is right and good. He never measures his actions against God’s Word, because he doesn’t need the “crutch” of faith! [I don’t know about you, but I don’t need a crutch - I need a wheelchair!] He sees believers as weak people who need “fables” to bolster them. He, on the other hand, needs nothing and no one! That kind of pride surely leads to destruction, because the one thing this man cannot prevent from happening is death! It’s guaranteed! And without God, it means complete destruction.

Now, I’ve chosen an extreme example, yet we all know people, family, friends, who may not have the outward appearance of pride, yet inwardly they do actually deny that God has anything to do with them. They believe they are responsible for making their own way. And without a foundational faith, they make their way through the world with no absolutes and no true compass to guide them. They THINK they are being “good” and they try to be righteous - but by their own faulty measure, not by God’s. They may not shake their fists at God, but they certainly don’t give Him a thought.

And there are certainly times when ALL of us seek our own way over God’s - even in ministry! We have fixed in our minds what we want to do for Him and how He can best use us. And we resist His pull in a different direction. I know I did that when He called me to work with children many years ago. I so did NOT want to work with kids, and I was sure I could be more useful working with women instead. So I resisted all of His clear signs He was giving me that His plan was to have me work with children. Even when I finally submitted to His call, I did it with gritted teeth! It’s called pride. What blessings I would have missed had I gone my own way!

There is a way that SEEMS right, but it leads to death. We want our way. Jesus says HE is the way. And His way is narrow - but it leads to life! If you are at a crossroads in your life, wondering which way to go, let God direct you! Don’t rush in the direction that YOU think is best. Wait for God to make His way clear. It’s always the best way!  

Proverbs 16:3-4 Guaranteed success!

Commit your work to the Lord,

    and your plans will be established. 
The Lord has made everything for its purpose,

    even the wicked for the day of trouble. (Proverbs 16:3-4)

These verses tell me I have a purpose. God created me for HIS pleasure (not my own), and He has a plan to use me. He thinks I’m useful! The NIV 1984 Bible translates verse 3 as “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” I think some have hoped that this meant if we make plans, then ask God to bless them, we will have guaranteed success in our ventures. But since verse 4 makes it clear that it is God who has the plans, it is HIS plans, not necessarily mine that will be successful. Therefore, if I commit myself to Him first and to seeking His plan, I will be part of accomplishing His work.

Rather than going ahead of Him and plotting out my life, I need to turn to Him and seek His direction. I’m currently in a period of seeking, wondering what He has for me next. There are a few doors that I could go through, or I can stay put. I’m seeking His leading, because I don’t trust myself! I’m not afraid to choose the wrong door, however, because I know He will ultimately close off the wrong avenue. But I’m also willing to wait. The reality is that WHATEVER I’m doing at any given moment in time needs to be done for Him, not for myself, because it’s NOT about me!

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. (Colossians 3:23-24)

There is great peace in knowing that God is sovereign and that His plans will always be accomplished. I just want to be part of that, don’t you?  

Proverbs 15:23 Doubly blessed!

To make an apt answer is a joy to a man,

    and a word in season, how good it is! (Proverbs 15:23)

Has someone ever helped you by giving you the exact word of encouragement that you needed at the exact time? It’s such a wonderful blessing - for both the encourager and the encouraged. I’ve been on both the giving and the receiving end of an “apt answer,” and you know when it happens that it is a God thing.

When I read this verse this morning, I immediately thought of my daughter, Molly. Her prayer card business/ministry is all about giving out the right Word for the right moment. Throne of Grace produces prayer cards and prayer journals with the goal of helping people find the exact words from God’s Word for the exact occasion in order to encourage people.

When Molly first started this business, the number one benefit she received from it was the implanting of God’s Word in her heart. As she searched for just the right verses for people to use for prayer in specific situations, she found that she was committing all of these great verses to memory as she printed them on cards. A friend would call her for advice, and she had the exact verse on her tongue for her friend, because she had just been searching the Scriptures.

Jon Courson pulls out a verse from Isaiah 50, a messianic passage, to go with this Proverb:

The Lord God has given me

    the tongue of those who are taught,

that I may know how to sustain with a word

    him who is weary.

Morning by morning he awakens;

    he awakens my ear

    to hear as those who are taught. (Isaiah 50:4 ESV)

Courson points out that Jesus got up very early to commune with His Father that He might be prepared to minister throughout the day, and he writes, “How much more do you and I need to get up and seek the Lord if we want to be those who have the right word at the right time to say to a world burdened down and burned-out by sin.” (Courson, Application Commentary: Old Testament, Vol 2, P. 224)

If ever the world needed an encouraging word it is now! We are living in a time of such discouragement. We know people all around us who are losing jobs, losing homes, struggling in their marriages, fighting cancer, grieving over loss, or just plain worn out! More than ever, we need to heed Peter’s exhortation:

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (1 Peter 3:15)

Peter tells us to do this gently and with respect. How can we be prepared? We need to be prayed up, studied up, and read up! As we continue to meet Him in the morning, with our Bibles opened, praying for and waiting for a Word from Him, He will prepare us to use what He’s given. Look for an opportunity to encourage someone with God’s Word today. You will both be blessed!